As my eldest has now become a father and I'm delighting in my new status as proud grandmother, I find myself remembering back to all those nights of sleep deprivation that come to virtually every parent of a new baby. I'm not sure we can ever fully prepare for the sheer exhaustion of night after night of interrupted sleep, but there are ways of relieving some of the stress of a constantly wakeful baby.
One of the things that new parents frequently experience is the problem of a tiny baby having his days and nights muddled up. Sometimes it's possible to get an idea in advance that your baby is likely to be born as a night waker if you notice that during the late stages of pregnancy, he's one of those little loves who begins bouncing around the moment you lay down for the night. This is very common as it's likely that normal daytime movement and activities by Mum, are acting as a soothing form of rocking that perhaps helps an unborn baby sleep.
So if during those first few days following birth you notice that your little one appears to want to sleep soundly during the day and then wake up and become alert and active in the wee small hours, it's worth trying these tips to nudge him into a more considerate sleep pattern.
Make sure that you create a distinct contrast between night and day in your home: If you can do all of the following you'll probably find a big difference within a week or two.
- During the daytime, don't tiptoe around being quiet if your baby is asleep. Carry on as normal and expose her to your usual amount of daytime sounds such as the vacuum cleaner, washing machine, phone calls, TV, radio and conversation going on in the house.
- Talk to her and play with her lots during daylight hours. Nappy/diaper changing time is a good opportunity for some noisy interaction.
- Expose her to plenty of natural light in the house, don't pull curtains while she sleeps and try and take her outdoors on sunny mornings, well protected with light cotton clothing and obviously not left in direct sunlight. Use common sense here!
- If he's asleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch during the day, then attempt to gently wake him. This may not work initially, but it's worth trying.
- At night, keep all noise and activity to an absolute minimum. The idea is to disturb him as little as possible while attending to feeding, changing etc.
- Do not turn normal bedroom lights on while attending to her, instead substitute a night light or exchange your normal bedside light bulb for a coloured bulb which will give out a dimmer light. I always found that a red bulb worked really well and created just enough light to see without any bright glare.
- No matter how cute he is, or what kinds of sweet, engaging sounds he's making, try to resist the temptation to talk to him or play with him. Feed him in silence and keep all movements as calm and gentle as possible.
- If she's crying and needs soothing, then rock her very gently in a dark room and keep you own vocal sounds very low.
- Don't change his nappy unless it's really necessary. If he's not obviously really wet or dirty, then leave it until the next feed. Unnecessary diaper changes will just stimulate him into activity. You could also consider changing him before, rather than after night feeds. That way if he drifts off to sleep during his feed, you can lay him gently down without disturbing him.
- Some babies will automatically wake up when they're laid back into their crib, because they sense the change in temperature. You can sometimes solve this problem by wrapping a blanket around his back while cuddling or feeding him and the when you think he's asleep, lay him back down in his crib with the blanket still underneath him. Hopefully, he'll stay asleep.
Creating change takes time and perseverance, but if you're consistent in your approach, you will begin to see results.
