Time As Healer.

My beloved and I were talking about our children last night, and realising that the wonderful thing about middle age is that it's a time when all the missing and apparently broken pieces of our parenting experience begin to come together. It's been a remarkable few months where it seems for me that family growth and unity is accelerating at a greatly increased rate, and problems with my children that several years ago seemed insurmountable, are now dissolving like raindrops into the bigger pool of a whole life experience. What I find interesting here is that I wasn't actually able to do very much to solve the issues.

My early experience of mothering was about being the nurturer, the caretaker, the teacher, the one who made it all happen. I believed that I was indispensable and so entirely responsible for my children eventually becoming good people, I lost part of myself in the process. I failed to pay enough attention to my own health and happiness. When a series of life traumas and injustices resulted in a long period of separation from several of my children. I had no choice but to learn to be with me in a way that up until then I'd avoided. The control freak in me was forced to let go control. I became powerless for a while, but only in so far as my physicality was involved. The loving communication continued and with that the knowledge that I would only come through this period by trusting - blindly for the most part, in the unseen presence of what some would call God or a higher power, or what I've come to call the Universal Mother - a kind of personification of the loving perfection of an ordered Universe of which we are all a part.

It takes time - a long time for very difficult situations to work themselves out, but when we let go and allow the things beyond our control to evolve in their own way - we start to see the emerging bigger picture, and it's possible for heartbreak to become peace, troubled adolescents to become wise and compassionate adults, and our own battered mother hearts to take comfort from the knowledge that when we do the best we can - no matter how inadequate that may sometimes appear- the process of life and time will work out the details.